Its been a long time since I've posted anything on my blog and today also I've nothing to share..
While having our morning cup of tea Nikhil(my brother) made me read a short story he has written for his colleague who just had a breakup.. I asked him if I can share it on my blog and he said yes.. So here it is.. :-)
I was in a book shop in South Ex. The salesgirl at the shop came and said in a sweet voice “May I help you sir?” She was a short young girl with a beautiful round face.
I replied, no thanks. I’ll help myself! She was perplexed. But she didn’t move. I was furious. Probably it was what they are taught not to leave their customers alone. But I was not in a mood to think on rational terms.
I said, “I am not a kleptomaniac. I assure you!” in a tone I had never heard myself speak before. The girl left without saying anything. I felt sorry for her. I shouldn’t have behaved in such a manner. Normal I might have peered over to the girl to say sorry or maybe just to pass a smile to make her feel good but it wasn’t me.
For a moment I felt nice that I’ve something else to think about but suddenly my mind veered over to HER. For last one year I had thought of nothing but her and now even the thought of her is painful. Surely this is not true.
She might be there in another of many book shops in Delhi and probably feeling as bad as I am, for books is one of the few passions we have in common. But it was her who finished it though she was teary-eyed when she said it.
I have no idea what exactly the problem is between the two of us. She loved my love for cricket, now she hates it. I enjoyed the attention she gets all over the university, now I feel embarrassed. Our names suggested we are the perfect couple, now it seems it was a sign that we were never meant to be together.
Or maybe I know what the problem is. I have always been an idealistic guy who keeps on thinking of new ways to make this world a better place to live in while actually doing nothing. I have never had the time for her. And she is the one who actually makes this world beautiful just by smiling around and spreading the happiness. To make matters worse I have even taken that smile away from her.
Am I this bad? Or is it just that I am thinking of all the negatives in myself at the same time. Sametime reminds me of SBI. Most people there seem to think I am an honest guy who works hard. But why can’t she? Would she be thinking about me the same way? My phone rings, “Hello! Anybody there?” It’s her.
Hi, I say.
Sorry Nikhil! But this was just meant to be. Now don’t feel sorry for me or yourself. You’ll get a girl who will actually understand you but I am not that girl. I laugh at this suggestion.
She says, “I love the way you laugh.”
But you don’t love ME!
I surely did, Nikhil but not anymore. I’ll always be there for you and you know that but we’re just not meant for each other.
I thank her and feel as if an iron rod kept on my chest has been lifted by my gym coach which I found too heavy to even move.
Bye Nikhil, muaaah!
I couldn’t say anything. Why can’t I express my emotions better, I ask myself. I don’t know and probably I would never know. In my mind, I thank her for the call and leave the place. I see that salesgirl and an elderly man looking at me and laughing. I feel better that this is still my life. People are still laughing at me for no particular reason.
That moment when she told me we ought to move on and stop seeing each other, I felt a kind of pain a woman might feel when told that her husband is no more. I don’t know why I came up with this analogy but that’s exactly how I felt. Now barely two hours later there is a certain sense of calmness and relief which is unbelievable.
I wonder if it’s a sane suggestion but I hope each one of you gets to face this situation yourself. I really do! It’ll only make you a better person. :-)