BA**ARDS

There are many things which I love to hate.But undoubtedly, without any second thoughts and hands down the thing i hate most is the X-Ray eyes of those bastard, lecherous uncle-Ji's who are everywhere to be found roaming in public places..
It doesn't matter to them that they have a teenaged daughter back home and he stays in touch with her to check if she has not fallen prey to someone from his species..He just forgets all this as soon a girl crosses his way..U can literally see his eyes popping out from his eye-socket and shamelessly holding his crotch in full public-view..Some are even adventurous enough to elbow the girl or brush past her or give that lewd ear to ear smile..
And the girl most of the time choses not to respond and just go away with her head down..But I am totally against it.Why should we feel gulty??I personally try to retaliate as far as possible to these monsters.
We girls and those who care for us have to change our attitude first.I remember once I had to wait for my friend for about an hour.Thankfully no-one molested me(as it is obviously a very possible option seeing the attitude of Delhi males), but my friend felt guilty , ofcourse coz he was late but another major reason was that being a girl I had to wait ALONE in a public place as people notice "akeli ladki". I know his concern was right on his part.But still, till the time we girls prefer to walk with someone we will never get the confidence to face these bawdy men.
I am trying hard to give myself a boost that next time I come across anyone from above-described species I come back and humiliate him publically and kick in his b***s..

Section49-O

Yesterday I thought of doing my bit in my college for elections by making students aware of their right to vote.I tried talking to some of my classmates and juniors and the most of them were of the vieew that their vote doesn't really make a difference or they have their names registered in their home town constituency and its not possible to go all the way back their just to vote..
One of them also answered that that he finds none of the candidates worthy enough to vote..then i remembered that few days back I got a forwrded mail that - there is a provision of "section 49-O" ..About which the mail said that if we find no candidate capable enough to represent us then we can by duly filling a form can say that "I dont want to vote".And if the number of winning candidate's vote are less than people using section 49-O then re-polling will be ordered there and the candidate will be permanently banned!
But before providing this solution to that guy I thought better to double check this info.So I googled "section 49-O".The first link I got was of wikipedia..But to my utter dismay there was nothing like elections would be cancelled or andidate would be banned..Thank God I cross checked about 49-O..
The apparent purpose of this section is to prevent the election fraud or the misuse of votes.
There only I got the link http://49-o.info/
click on it to understand the section better..
Do vote!every vote matters!

HE FUCKIN' HATES ME!

now a days i'm loving the song "she fuckin hates me"..There should be a female version too like "he fuckin hates me!"
Met a girl, thought she was grand
Fell in love found out first hand
Went well for a week or two
Then it all came unglued..

In a trap, trip I can't grip
Never thought I'd be the one who'd slip
Then I started to realize
I was living one big lie
She fuckin' hates me
Trust
She fuckin' hates me
La la la love
I tried too hard
And she tore my feelings like I had none
And ripped them away..

She was queen for about an hour
After that, shegot sour
She took all I ever had
No sign of guilt
No feelin' of bad
No

In a trap, trip I can't grip
Never thought I'd be the one who'd slip
Then I started to realize
I was living one big lie

That's my story
As you see
Learned my lesson
And so did sheNow it's over
And I'm gladCause
I'm a fool
For all I've said

La la la la la la la la la love
Trust
La la la la la la la la la la
JustLa la la la la(and she tore my feelings like i had none, just)
La la la la
She fuckin' hates me

The song is so much close to my story..someone please sing a female version!!

Trying to understand politics.

Yesterday night I heard that Behenji is keeping her eye on PM's seat..Mayawati as prime minister!!The news sent shivers down my spine,I was numb..and quite literally..Then in the morning I read newspaper and I learnt even Mr. Sanghvi was not able to sleep because of this.. :P And I also learnt from the same article that even Amma or Chandrababu Naidu are "pottential PMs".

I am not against Dalits.Rather I dont believe in our cast system.But the actual problem is the section of society(the candidates)which these third front people are- full of greed and just wanting to fill up their back pockets with our taxes and then shamelessly calling it their hard earned money!
I'm sure whatever activities they are carrying on in their regions ,God forbids if they become PM will become a national past-time of all our dear politicians and cabinet ministers..Asking people to shell out money as donations for politician's birthday and it doesnt matter whether you can afford to gift your own child a set of boks on his birthday.The only vision they have is of their bank lockers and not of India prospering or towards making it a developed country.I wonder how she'll cope with all the financial meltdown happening and simultaneously taking India to the world..
Whole world's eyes are on us as we are gripped with the problem of security due to threat of terrorism.The last thing we want is the leadership of third front
I just pray that all this doesn't happen.And for this not to happen we have to exercise our power of voting..

Writting

I love writting..And writting as in with paper and pen..and it can be anything.I just love messing around with pen..my hands are always writting something on any paper i can lay my hands on.I tried to use board once as I was feeling guilty of wasting so many papers but board writting didnt gave me that feeling..Ohh.. it feels so great writting down anything which comes in my mind.
Im so writting freak that I try to write down all the notes which I get from my seniors which my friends get xeroxed!!And i enjoy doing that.and not even once it crosses my mind that how much time I am wasting on it..:P
I wish I were so creative that i could write a book..I would have chosen that a career!

Just Don't Know.

Something is bothering me..And I just couldn't figure it out.I have started shouting on every second person..I just dont feel happy.I have every material thing with me but i am not able to zero-in on the metaphysical element missing in my life.I feel incomplete.I want to achieve so many things and I very well know that this state of mind will take me nowhere but how do i come out of it?? I tried meditation but still i can not concentrate.My mind just wanders to whatever is not possible.. :(
I want to just take a break but once a friend said that taking a break is like closing ur eyes for sometime to the problem.May be he was right.But then what should I do??
I am getting more and more frustrated day by day!It is making me a negative person..and it is making things difficult even for the people around me.for no reason they are blaming themselves..
please help me!!I want to come out of this..

Expectation

There are so many things I want to do..the list is long but i still want to compile it.

I want to grow my hair,I want to love him,I want to stop hating him,I want to go back to school,I want to know the exact meaning of agnostic,I want to be selfish,I want to work for an NGO,I want to express,I want to hibernate,I want to run away,I want to spend time with friends and family,I want to read,I want to watch movies all day long,I want to talk to him,I want him to talk to me,I want to pamper myself.... and many more things..

But will I ever be able to do all this or atleast some of it..most probably the answer is a big NO!

My fundamental problem is that I expect a lot from myself as well as from my relations.I have three most important people in my life but I never get the reactions which I want or expect..I never get reciprocated.And for this I'm not blaming the world.Obviously the problem lies somewhere in me.I expect too much out of everyone.But what should I do to halt this.I tried not talking to them.And I got the expected reaction: All the three were indifferent.none of them bothered to even ask generally whats the issue..

Why do I then think so much about them.I cant stay away from them.I need to know about them,see them,talk to them,tell them about myself..But why is that they hold leave love not even an attachment for me..

I suppose there is a dire need of stop expecting anything from anybody and especially from the people whom I considered most important.. :(

I'm happy!

Life always takes me back to square one..just yesterday only I decided that I'll be happy and I was working on my resolution.I went for morning walk, admired nature, felt really good..All thanks to my mom coz she forced me to go.she knows nothing why my life is going topsy-turvy but still she always manages to somehow guess that something is wrong,something is bothering me.And here I am who rarely acknowledges her.mums are really great.Hats-off to every mum on this earth.:)

coming back to my happiness..i came back and started studying with really good concentration but again he pulled me back.I was again about to succumb,again lose my self-respect..but good-sense prevailed and I came out of the attack.

Yes, I call it an attack.Attack on my integrity.But I am preparing myself for life now.I am understanding now that the prime motive of life is "Smile" and not just being with someone who gives you hallucinations of "LOVE".

I have decided I am not going to waste my life.I'll do what I like doing..

i'm happy!!

i'm happy!! :)

A New Day!

Its a new month and as always I have lots of new plans in my mind to execute.But I just hope that "as always" these dont get dumped this time..
some of my new month's resolutions are:
1. Start exercising..I'm really becoming very flabby.. :(
2.I'll try to blog almost daily.
3.I'll not let down myself ever again.
4.I'll be happy.
5.And if i'll get time then I'll study :P..
I m blogging my resolutions to keep myself on toes..coz I think mind works faster and in a better way if u jot down things by numbering them..I've experienced it in studies and daily chores..
I think its time that I applt this in living life as well..
lemme try this..will post the results of my new experiments soon..