There are so many things I want to do..the list is long but i still want to compile it.
I want to grow my hair,I want to love him,I want to stop hating him,I want to go back to school,I want to know the exact meaning of agnostic,I want to be selfish,I want to work for an NGO,I want to express,I want to hibernate,I want to run away,I want to spend time with friends and family,I want to read,I want to watch movies all day long,I want to talk to him,I want him to talk to me,I want to pamper myself.... and many more things..
But will I ever be able to do all this or atleast some of it..most probably the answer is a big NO!
My fundamental problem is that I expect a lot from myself as well as from my relations.I have three most important people in my life but I never get the reactions which I want or expect..I never get reciprocated.And for this I'm not blaming the world.Obviously the problem lies somewhere in me.I expect too much out of everyone.But what should I do to halt this.I tried not talking to them.And I got the expected reaction: All the three were indifferent.none of them bothered to even ask generally whats the issue..
Why do I then think so much about them.I cant stay away from them.I need to know about them,see them,talk to them,tell them about myself..But why is that they hold leave love not even an attachment for me..
I suppose there is a dire need of stop expecting anything from anybody and especially from the people whom I considered most important.. :(